A few months ago I wrote about the Simple Pleasures in my life. Here’s a follow up post with 5 more:

1. Sleeping in late – this is especially high on my list, as being self-employed and with two kids, my days are often long, and I work on weekends, too. So the occasional morning of sleeping in is really welcomed. After a couple of intense days, there’s nothing like stretching out early in the morning, look lovingly at one’s partner still in deep slumber, and deciding to catch a few more winks. Next thing you know, it’s 10:30 AM.
2. An afternoon nap – almost a corollary to #1: I’m often up late working, or I have to wake up early to get in yet more work. Sometimes, before I pick up the kids, or perhaps during the time they do their after school homework, I sneak in a nap. Oh, so delicious! The bedroom faces towards the west, so we usually get the warm sunshine streaming in, and a short 15-20 minute nap really does wonders.
3. Beach revisited – we’re having terrific weather, and yesterday we took the kids out to the beach as a reward for having a great week at school. Being there reminded me of my earlier post, and now I could expand on it. Lying down on the warm sand, with the light ocean breezes sweeping over you is quite nice. Also nice, ironically, is rolling up your pants and getting into the freezing cold water. We were playing “tag” with the ocean, and got totally caught up in it — not to also mention the older kid got totally soaked from falling into the water!
4. Riding a bike – I’m not a runner or jogger because my knees complain afterwards, and to me it seems like it’s a lot of work to not get very far very fast. However, riding a bike is different. It can be more leisurely when you want, but also an intense work-out when you want. Plus, you cover more ground. The clickety-click of the gear system, scenery rolling by (Golden Gate Park, especially), all makes for an experience to relax the mind.
5. Listening to the kids – Their mom and I often enjoy listening to their conversations, which are often humorous and “cute” because kids say the funniest things (without meaning to be funny, usually). When that happens we just look at each other and smile — much more preferable to scolding them for something bad that they did.

Have a great weekend!

Why is it:

Worthwhile and not whileworthy?

Trustworthy and not worthtrust?

When I spoke of the 7 things I’m teaching my kids, one was keeping a positive attitude.

I thought I’d expand on that a bit.

1. All things equal, positive attitude wins out – if you had to choose between two job candidates, both with the same credentials, same skillset, and such, but one has the cheery, genuine I-want-to-know-you kind of smile, whom would you select?
2. All things UNequal, positive attitude wins out – or how about if one candidate is quite a bit more qualified than the other candidate, but the other is more personable, and you can tell she would work well within the team, whom would you choose? Along those lines, I tell my son that we may not be the tallest, fastest, strongest, best-looking, smartest, wittiest person — although we can certainly strive towards excellence — but how far we can get in life can depend a lot on a positive attitude.
3. Positive Attitudes Helps You Overcome Setbacks – one of the most upsetting things the older brother does is to have fits over minor setbacks, such as forgetting to write a word in an alphabetizing exercise and needing to start over. I tell him with a bad attitude that puts you in a sulky mood, unwilling to go further, how will the work get done.0
4. Positive Attitude invites compassion – I tell my son that if he has a good attitude, when he is stuck at something, I am more than happy to help, even if it’s an “easy” question (up to a point). However, I tell him, a bad attitude from him puts me in a bad mood also, and then I’m just not that open to helping.
5. Positive Attitude is Charisma – I touched on this in my D&D post, but we’ve heard the saying, “It’s not what you know, but who you know”, really refers to our charisma. Of course, we need to know something, have some skill or expertise, but charisma is what gains another person’s trust — meaning a customer or client, or employment, or cutting through some red tape, etc. Having a positive attitude is really an important component to having a strong charisma.

It’s not easy raising two rambunctious little boys, and I must admit, I sometimes lose patience with them — that’s when I take my own time-out and go read in my bedroom while their mom takes over.

But I’m hoping that constant drilling and reminders now will help them tremendously when they’re older.

Image via WikipediaI recently finished Robert Ludlum’s The Janson Directive and The Bourne Supremacy and years and years ago I read The Bourne Identity (you may recognize the names of the last two, as a trilogy of films based on the Bourne series were made, starring Matt Damon. There was also a made-for-TV movie starring Richard Chamberlain and Jacquelyn Smith — and that was how I became fascinated with memory, and why I sought out the Bourne Identity book).

If you’ve never read any Ludlum novels, here’s a short wikipedia description of his stories:

Ludlum’s novels typically featured one heroic man, or a small group of crusading individuals, in a struggle against powerful adversaries whose intentions and motivations are evil, adversaries capable of using political and economic mechanisms in frightening ways. His vision of the world was one where global corporations, shadowy military forces and government organizations all conspired to preserve (if it was evil) or undermine (if it was good) the status quo.

Having real only a few of Ludlum’s numerous titles (he actually died in 2001, and recent novels are ghostwritten off his manuscripts or notes), I can say there must be a Ludlum style, which I shall try to distill:

• Realism – a lot of what drew me into Ludlum’s novels is his depiction of the world. On the surface, his world is exactly like ours — cities and nations, economics and politics, etc. However, underneath the surface are forces we know nothing about: secret government organizations, clandestine operations, conspiracies and puppeteers who control the puppeteers who manipulate our hero, etc. The way Ludlum describes procedures and policies, weapons and tactics all seem real because of the “technobabble” he deftly uses, enabling readers to suspend their disbeliefs. (Technobabble is what we hear in sci-fi, such as Star Trek, when terms like “structural integrity field” and “Heisenberg compensator” are used to explain concepts to advance the plot). He describes operations, tactics and motives of organizations, governments and economic mechanisms such as secret bank accounts with such detail that they all seem more than plausible — it’s like we’re getting real-life lessons on how things (may) work.
• “Evil” Characters – by using the third person narrative — and a most omniscient narrator at that — we are many privy to the thoughts of major characters. As such, we learn about the motivations for them, and realize that while the characters that are “evil”, we know that they do not think of themselves as such. Rather, they have their own justifications and motivations for their actions. In D & D parlance, they tend to have an chaotic-evil alignment, meaning these antagonists see only themselves as being right, being the smart one, and that the end justifies any means needed.
• Intense Action – we are so used to the “summer blockbuster” movies, filled with special-effects, THX sound, etc. Well, Ludlum novels are also filled with action, although it’s all described in words. Car chases, hand-to-hand combat, gunfights, you-name-it it’s probably in one of his novels. Reading the sequences sends my heart pounding, and I start reading faster and faster, eager to find out what’s happening next. No wonder they’re called thrillers.
• Exotic Locations – in typical James Bond-ish style, Ludlum’s characters invariably need to travel the world, and here again, the author inserts an “in the know” travel guide for the location he uses, describing places in such detail that we can easily picture the natives, hear the foreign tongues in the markets, smell the scents, etc.
• Plot Twists – the hallmark of any good mystery thriller is its ability to keep the reader guessing. Sure, there must be clues so that we can develop their own suspicions as we read, but at the same time, we don’t want the story to be too predictable. It’s a fine balancing act, one that Ludlum seemed adept at.
• Good Guys prevail – at least so far, in the three novels that I’ve read. I know this may not happen in real life all the time, and you certainly will find less of this in the plots of foreign movies — good guy wins, gets the girl, etc., is what’s known as the “Classic Hollywood” ending — but I usually go watch movies or read books because I like to feel good at the end.

What I’ve described is certainly not limited to Ludlum novels — but for developing the Ludlum “brand” so that readers expect a certain type of story in a certain type of style, his novels certainly deliver the goods.

Jonathan Field’s recent post, Is Your High Powered Job Setting Your Kids Up To Fail, got me thinking about my own kids. He points out studies and experiments that show kids whose parents were more “present” in their lives during their formative years did better in school, and stayed out of trouble.

This post expands on my earlier post about the 7 Principles I’m Teaching My Kids.

Troubled Kids

When I hear about troubled kids, I think of any recent number of murders (or massacres) committed by a young males, and the inevitable follow up report that the perpetrators’ parents usually “had no idea”.

They had no idea.

Why is that?

Parents Must Be Responsible Parents

It’s obvious to me that what was missing was open communication between the parents and the child. A parent needs to know what’s going on in their kids’ lives out of the home. When you think about it, a young child spends approximately two-thirds of their lives at home eating, playing, doing homework, etc., and sleeping, and the remaining third at school. So, during their formative years, two-thirds of their lives are spent exposed to anything and everything they see and hear in school, on the TV, in the classroom, on the playground and on the internet under their parents’ care.

So obviously, the most influential person your people kids can (or should) ever see, talk to, and listen is you, the parent.

Open Communication is Key

This communication has to start at a very young age, and continue throughout the teen years — since I guess if you’d made it that far, communications should remain optimum during the child’s adult years.

I want that with my kids.

So what am I doing about it?

I certainly do not have a “high powered job”, but I do run my own business, and can easily (and often do) spend upwards of 70 hours per week on it.

I realize that low-income households may have (a) parent(s) who work all day, just to make ends meet. Even high-income households will have parents work all day as well, leaving their kids under the care of nannies. Both situations often means the parents are unavailable.

Attend their School Activities

For me, luckily, one of the perks I that I DO have is the ability to take a little time off to attend my children’s school activities: Halloween Costume Parades, music concerts, field trips, school plays and the like.

To see their smiles and their waving when they see me in the audience really brings a warm feeling to my heart.

I’m certain that just my presence boosts their self-esteem, validates their importance to me, and at the dinner table that particular night, the child will proudly describe what transpired. I also bring along my little point and shoot camera to take few shots or a short video. And after the dinner, we sit in front of the computer to relive their memories.

The kid is happy for the rest of the evening. And beyond.

This simple activity will form the basis for the child’s future nostalgia.

Discipline, Discussion and Decisions

I’ve also found that dinner time is a great time to go over important lessons — and the kids’ various teachers have mentioned that “what’s practiced at home is what’s practiced at school”, and of course, in life.

• Paying Attention – during dinner, the TV is OFF. I know it’s so tempting to want to be entertained while eating, and for a few years we did that since we were eating with relatives who did the cooking. But recently, we’ve started cooking for ourselves in order to eat earlier, and now that the TV off, the difference is so much more noticeable. We can talk about various topics without the kids eyes wandering off. The kids actually look at their food, and at whomever is talking.
• Discussion – the quiet also allows us to bring up topics that may have been brought up in the car ride home. Oh, a “friend” snitched about a secret you told him? How does that make you feel? Is that person trustworthy? Conversations like that allows us to broach on more abstract topics that we feel are crucial to their emotional growth.
• Decisions – the last thing that I want to mention is we can use the dinner time to make announcements, such as what we’re going to do on the weekend, or how much more attention should the kids pay to their schoolwork, etc.

I know my kids are still young yet (5th and 1st graders), but both their mom and I feel that it is SOOOO important, especially in our oh-so-complicated society, that we make sure we connect with our children at an early age. We want them to feel comfortable and that it’s safe to talk to us.

Hopefully, they’ll continue down a fruitful path, with a nudge or two from us from time to time.

Source: WikipediaToday, online social network behemoth MyFacePlace.com announced its latest Web 2.0 technology, SHIPAT has gone live.

Having been under development since the advent of segmented baked leavened flour dough, this latest in a long line of social networking applications finally comes out of theta testing after a series of missteps that saw rival companies gain market share at the expense of MyFacePlace.

Technology blog YechTech.bla predicts that a large number savvy entrepreneurs will jump on the bandwagon to take advantage of what pundits all agree will be a paradigm shift in social networking.

According to MyFacePlace spokeswoman, O. Ly Kidding, the technology is nothing short of amazing.

“Frankly, we’re shocked no one has thought of this before. There’s just something almost natural-like to meeting a person in real life, shaking their hand — it’s an intimacy that really has no rival. There’s a raw energy to the entire process that elicits comparisons to Paleolithic tribal interactions. We think the concept is going to take off in big way.”

To date MyFacePlace has released the following applications:

• SHIPAT v1.0 – Shake Hands In Person And Talk
• UTIE v2.5 – Use the Telephone Instead of always Emailing
• FOHSSIRG v3.1 – FOr Heavens sake, Shave and Shower If you want a Real Girlfriend

Investors, ebullient with the news, pushed shares of MyFacePlace stock up 256% to an all-time high of $1,024 in after hours trading.

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Happy April Fool’s Day!